My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
