Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry glamisduneripper hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(313): View more from Michigan

Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born

Fav 17 2120 1174
share tweet
(415): View more from California

I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

Fav 20 3581 905
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(334): View more from Alabama

after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'

Fav 13 1349 4989
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(

Fav 34 2578 5202
share tweet
(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

Fav 25 4864 1389
share tweet
(613): View more from Ontario

i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer

Fav 7 4088 1227
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(205): View more from Alabama

we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.

Fav 6 1083 3799
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown

(217): View more from Illinois

And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing

Fav 1 274 221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(732): View more from New Jersey

theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

it was the only safe place

Fav 0 74 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT