Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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