I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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