WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think i have two assholes
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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