She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
