what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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