hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
