He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
