so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
