Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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