I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
