So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
