You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
