He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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