I will die if light touches me.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
