i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
