i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
