lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize