Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
He has the fingertips of a God
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