Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My pussy is not your playground.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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