Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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