She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
