The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
