oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
