I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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