Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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