yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
