Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
