Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
