think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
