it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
