the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
foreskin is a definite game changer
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
