Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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