Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
