summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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