His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
