haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
