Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
