Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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