you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize