I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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