he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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