I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
