would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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