Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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