He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
