In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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