Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!

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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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(208): View more from Idaho

I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."

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(847): View more from Illinois

Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now

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(859): View more from Kentucky

After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.

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(716): View more from New York

I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining

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