Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
