Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
