maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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