My liver just broke up with me...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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