I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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