he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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