Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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