Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
