Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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