I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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