I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
